Would you describe your relation
with Bleisch as friendship?
Yes, it's definitely friendship.
It developed after some time into a friendship.
How did you get in touch with
A friend of mine had told me about
him, explaining what Norbert does for a living and that I could participate
whenever I wanted to. I thought a bit about it at first, then I met Norbert,
and he told me what would happen, what I could do and how much, and then
after a while, I said yes.
Had your friend appeared in videos
No, not him. He knew about it through
yet another friend who had appeared.
What kind of preparations did
you make with Bleisch?
We talked on the phone. And then
we met in a guest house.
In which way did Norbert explain
what he expected from you?
He had already told me the basics.
What would happen and why. And this time Norbert explained all the details.
What I was expected to do and what would come out of it for me. And then
I had to think about the offer for yet another while.
How much money were you offered?
So it depended on with whom you
had s*x with?
Yes, I can do it with females, I
can do it with males, I can do it with myself, I can... At first, I didn't
want to do it with males. At first, I was actually really shy because I
had not done it before and didn't have a clue about it either. I suppose,
I didn't have very much experience either. Norbert told me I would get
100 - 150 DM if I did it with myself, and if I slept with a girl, I would
get 250 DM, and as for the gay pornos, I didn't
ask anything about them. Because they simply didn't interest me
So Norbert didn't say anything
further about them?
No. He said that when I have any
questions, I should ask him straight away, and then when I eventually asked
him, he answered into smallest detail...
What made you decide to appear
in pornos in the first place?
At first it was because of the money.
But then you stopped thinking about it, because you really enjoyed yourself.
You surely didn't mind the money, that's something you always need, but
in a way it became really fun to make videos because of all the people
involved. Sometimes, it was also stressful, but that's something which
comes with the package.
In which way was it fun?
The people and all that. We never
took it that serious. We didn't feel that we had to work, work, work, instead
we had fun most of the time.
Did you come with own ideas for
Yes, I did. I came with own ideas...
Eventually you decided to also
do it with boys. How did you come come to that decision?
Previously, I couldn't imagine making
films with boys. Meanwhile, I got to know someone who was gay and we spent
some time together and from that something developed. After that, I also
appeared in films with boys.
Did you have any s*xual experiences
before making videos?
Not before then. When I started
making films, it was only with girls at first. Then Norbert asked if I
also could do it with boys.
And you didn't have any s*xual
experiences with girls?
I suppose I had. I had experiences.
I claimed that I had lots of experiences with girls. But in reality, it
weren't that many. I had just tried it out.
And with boys?
No, not yet. I had not done it before
then. It happened during the time of the film making. It was with the...
with the boy who I got to know later and who also was curious in a way.
Did you met each other on the
No, he didn't appear in any films.
He wasn't involved in that. He was simply gay. And I had often talked to
him about lots of things. And something had then - I don't know why - started
to grow between him and me. This curiosity... and through that, I then
tried it out with him.
Has the film making changed or
influenced your own s*xuality?
I have learnt a lot from it. I have
learnt a lot from it... I have also learnt what you can do in bed. With
boys or so for example and what you previously never had the courage to
do. I don't say that making gay videos turn you into a gay person or so.
That's your own decision. And you have to find it appealing and enjoy it.
More enjoyable than with girls. You discover something new and when it
appeals to you, you then stick by it, and if it doesn't appeal to you,
then you don't stick by it. And I have come to the conclusion that boys
aren't my cup of tea. I enjoyed it at first, but not any longer. I feel
more attracted to girls than boys.
When you have bought something,
your parents must have asked where you got the money from.
I had bought a very, very expensive
bicycle. And my mother didn't know about it. Then she found the receipt
in my room and asked about it. I didn't know what to say at first, of course,
and then I simply said that I had an extra job. But she didn't believe
that because you don't make that much money when working extra. Well, and
then she wanted to know exactly what kind of job I had. So I told her that I appeared in videos.
She must have wondered what kind of videos. She actually reacted like she
was really shocked. And actually, she hasn't said anything about it ever
since. I don't know why, but she simply didn't want to talk about it.
It can't have been a very pleasant
theme for you, and it was simply hushed up?
Not a word about it was mentioned.
She never asked anything more about it.
She must have understood that
you continued making films.
Yeah, she knew that. I think she
cared, but that it also was too unpleasant for her to talk about it.
The Sebastian Bleisch trial was
in all the medias. Did anyone talk to you about it?
It was on the telly, I'm not sure,
but I think they just showed a box cover. And it was the particular box
cover, where I appear. At first my aunt saw it in the evening on Pro7 (a national German TV channel). And at first, she didn't want to
believe it was me, but she watched the repeat the following morning and
then realized the truth. And then my entire family also knew.
How did your family react?
At first they were really upset.
But then I told them that I didn't care about what they thought about me,
and that they could do whatever they liked, and then I left home for a
while. And then... no one talked any more about it, and from then on everything
was back to normal again.
Where did you get the inner strength
to ignore your relatives' discussions?
They thought that it was disgusting,
and wondered how I could do it. And I have from time to time looked for
a reason why they think the way they do and why they find it disgusting.
What can be so repulsive about it, as everyone says. I have never found
a reason. I stand for what have done and have no problems with that. It's
other people who have. After all, it's no crime. Everyone has an opinion
about it. Some people find it wonderful, fascinating and arousing, while
other say that they wouldn't do it themselves, but admire the ones who
do. There are also people who find it completely taboo and don't want to
talk about it or watch it.
How was your relationship with
Bleisch? How did things develop after the first meeting? Did he also talk
to you about other things than videos?
Whenever we had a problem, no matter
what kind of problem, we could always come to him and talk about girlfriends,
parents etc. He actually always had an answer. And a solution.
Perhaps you could give an example
of a personal problem which Bleisch helped you out with?
Well, for example, there was this
girlfriend. I was obsessed with young ones. They were mostly three or sometimes
four years younger than I. And then I told him that it didn't work out,
and talked to him about it and he helped me out. For example, the problem
I had was that they were always younger than I. Never the same age or older.
And what's the problem with that?
You were 16 and the girls 13 or 12...
They were 14... It was not during
that period of time. I happened when I was 18. They were then four years
younger. Most of them didn't look their age. Look wise they weren't children,
absolutely not, but they acted like they were.
So what kind of advice did Bleisch give you then?
That I simply should choose older girls.
What do you dream about?
My cherished dream? To become an
actor. Something in that direction. Actor and then everything in that direction.
Actually, everything that has something to do with movies and television.